Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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