I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My feet surprised me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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