I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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