I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Your cock deserves a montage
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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