i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
