I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
