Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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