And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
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I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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