i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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