I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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