I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
