There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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