He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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