Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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