Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
