it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
