dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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