all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
