we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
