I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
