I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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