am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize