you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
