mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
