Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
