He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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