So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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