I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We left the knife in your bed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize