Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The air was thick with penises
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
