Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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