I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
