Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
