I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
