I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
