Buhtt sex?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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