fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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