So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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