I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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