wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
