I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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