Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
