In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
