Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
did i just pee glitter
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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