how can u be prego again
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
