I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize