just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
