im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
