i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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