Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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