google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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