happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You don't make any sense
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