Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
