drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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