Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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