great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
