white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
