at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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