I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
