Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
