I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
