Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
