When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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