The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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