Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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